Saturday, March 29, 2014

Law and Disorder: I am a special victim---of this show!

So I have a new obsession. I know, hello 1998.

Oh, btw, I'm supposed to put pictures in my blog to make it more interesting to look at and stuff. Words are not apparently enough these days.  So here's a picture of the staff of SVU (or of the staff of the season I am currently watching).

Look at us, we are badasses. Crossing arms and shit.

Anyway, it was recently discovered that I am obsessed with detective shows and mysteries. I don't know how this didn't come up before as I have never watched Murder, She Wrote or Magnum P.I., or the Dick Van Dyke show where he's a detective or even, the Mentalist.

But here are the shows I AM obsessed with: Sherlock, X-Files, Lost, Psych, Monk, True Detective, and Breaking Bad. Well, also Six Feet Under and House of Cards but that's a different entry.  The point is, its surprising that I would discover Law and Order: SVU when it is airing its 14th season.

It started back in November. I had just traveled to Kansas, Alabama, Japan, Guam and Los that order. I was in Los Angeles for about 2 days (and really really confused about time) and off I was to Washington DC to do a job in early December.  Since I've been travelling non-stop, I haven't really had time to be jet-lagged.  I landed in DC around 11pm, I get to the hotel around 1am and see an email from the customer saying he wants me to start at 7am.

Say word?

I emailed back and indicated I just got to the hotel and is it possible if I could start at 745am? Luckily, he said 9am was a good time to start. SO, if I start sleeping at 2am, then I can get about 6 hours of sleep. That can be sufficient enough to work.  So, I turn on the tv and hope to go to sleep. On tv, is John Ritter.

And I LOVE John Ritter. He was playing a doctor whose wife had cheated on him and so he was trying to kill the lover's fetus--and of course, I was freaking hooked. John Ritter kills the baby and it turns out...crap! It's his BABY! WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?!?

So, just when I'm like 'that was a good episode', another episode comes up and it's that guy from Will and Grace.

And I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying to drift off to sleep. Until, near the end of the episode, Eric McCormack turns his daughter in (he was trying to take the heat for his daughter. Apparently, his spawn had a thirst for murder) at the end of the episode. She pleads with him "but daddy, you promised!! you'd do this for me!" and he's like "I know". Then she grabs scissors and stabs him in the neck. He falls to the ground and the ADA blonde chick says "he's dead" and close up to Mariska Hargitay looking like "WTF DUDE" (sp?) and then fade to credit.

I ended up watching 2 more episodes and I finally fell asleep at 5:30am....then my alarmed went at 6am. Oh man, DAMN YOU SVU! After work, I ended up going to bed at 3pm and waking up at 8pm and watching SVU.

The remainder of that week was most of the same: me staying up abnormal hours to watch SVU, then finally falling asleep for like an hour then waking up for work. I would go to work, race back to the hotel room during lunch and sleep for 30 minutes. Go back to work. Finish work around 3pm (the client was a government site and they start and finish their workday super early). Stay up as long as I can. Fall asleep at 4pm and wake up at like, 11pm, just in time for SVU.  I wouldn't be surprised if I started a fight club with all this non-sleeping and SVU watching I was doing.

I finally got on a regular schedule, went home and watched SVU every so often when I couldn't sleep.  It wasn't until I went back to Russia that I got hooked again! Dangit! My shift was 5am -- 5pm in Sochi and the only television we had was NYC's NBC channel (since that was the live feed). So at noon, it's SVU time! And of COURSE, editors needed help whenever the murderer was caught. The timing is uncanny. I made my work partner, Andy, watch SVU with me. I was hoping he would be hooked and I could feel less guilty about SVU.

Why do I feel guilty about SVU? Because a lot of it is ridiculous in the most-unridiculous network television type of way. The murderer is on the west side? Sure. We'll be there in 5 minutes. Traffic doesn't exist on SVU.  The trial? Its always part 38 or 26 of the trial when we hit a confession or some sort or the ADA is being ridiculous about something. Or how about when those credits come at a time when you're like "WTF did I just watch?" There was one episode where an avatar was raping another avatar.  The creator of the game (I think it was a take on SIMS) had to make the sun rise in 5 minutes to find the cabin where the avatar was being raped so we could find the real life person who was the avatar. I know, WHAT?! My boyfriend and I looked at each other and was like "my brain imploded".

Oh yeah, now I watch like 4 episodes before I go to bed on netflix. If I'm on the road (like I am now), it's ipad/netflix/svu time.

My most most favorite thing about this show is Ice-T.  He facial expressions ALWAYS mirror my facial expressions on the show.  He's like "you're telling me this rapist like to eat dog hair?" and I'm like "you're telling me that Ice-T is telling me he has to investigate a rapist who likes to eat dog hair?"

I'm going to get that rapist who likes to rape armpits. ROAR.

Anyway, it's time for me to download that CHA-CHUNG sound effect for my phone and watch Meloni beat bad guys up, Mariska convince a kid to talk, ADA blonde person (although in the most recent episode, she dyed it red. What's going on Casey?) be mad, the Asian psych guy to be super calm and controlled and the autopsy woman with great hair be like "um, yeah. He mutilated her eyebrows".  

This show is comedy gold. And I love it.

Awww shiz. Things are about to. go. down.

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