Friday, March 30, 2012

Window to the past

On my way home today, I heard a song that reminded me of my very first childhood crush. And I wondered, what ever happened to him?

So when I got home, I looked him up on facebook and lo and behold...he was there! I looked at his 4 profile pictures and was able to use context clues to discern:
  • he either is married or has a baby mama
  • he has a son
  • he has a tattoo on his forearm
  • he has pretty good skin

The last time I saw him, he was dating a friend of mine (small small world, since he started dating her when I hadn't seen him in almost 10 years or so)--they broke up and my friend tried to hook me up with him at a high school dance. I vaguely remember talking to him on the phone---excited at the prospect of possibly hooking up with the first guy I had the hugest crush on -- and he was talking like a gangsta' which immediately turned me off. I came up with some excuse as to why I couldn't go to the dance and never heard from him again.

Well, I couldn't help myself and sent him a message asking if this was the same guy I knew from childhood and I hoped he was doing well and he looked happy. And I am sincerely happy that he looks happy.

After that, I couldn't stop myself.

I looked up the girl who lived across the street from me. Looks like she has 6 kids! DAMN. Alhough, she had 4 brothers and sisters so I wasn't too too surprised. I also messaged her saying a friendly hello and sorry that I didn't keep in touch when we went to different high schools. My last memory of her is of a letter she left on my doorstep asking why we didn't hang out anymore. Frankly, it was because I was in eleventy billion clubs and hanging out with my high school friends and didn't have time for neighborhood friends. Alas. She was the girl who introduced me to Super Mario Brothers (the first in the neighborhood to have a Nintendo! I was so jealous) and to Garbage Pail Kids (she had ALL of them. I only had like 2. And it was like duplicates of the 2. I wonder what ever happened to my Garbage Pail Kids now that I think of it).

It was like eating cheesecake---couldn't stop at one slice. I looked up two exes (I'm still friends with almost all of them, except these two. Mostly because I moved away and didn't develop friendships like I did with the others). The first one was MIA. Nothing. Nada. I wondered if he stayed in New York or if he moved somewhere else. What kind of job he has. What happened to his dad and if he ended up with the girl he dumped me for.

I decided to look up one more ex and he wasn't on facebook but he has his own website. Looks like he did get married to the girl he dumped me for (I wasn't surprised. It was one of those scenarios where he had a girl best friend and I guess she decided she was in love with him when he started dating me...and wrote this long ass letter about how she should be with him and not me. DRAMA!) and is still doing something creative, but interestingly, not as impressive as the people I have met after him. His work was...ok. My coworker would blow him out of the water if I'm going to be completely blunt.

Anyway, that was enough. I had binged enough on past friends and made me reflect on the friends I DID keep in touch with. Anybody I considered a BFF, I still keep in touch with today (with the exception of one, but she was two-faced), anybody I got along with as a roommate, I still keep in touch with. So, in all, I still felt I had a pretty good track record. One of my friends, who I kept in touch with, like every 5 years, is now part of my book club! What are the chances we would end up living in the same city at the same time.

I also thought about how much I've changed and how much I stayed the same and hope I kept all the good bits and shed all the bad bits. Probably not all bad bits, but I think I'm a better person. Maybe a little more snobby but a lot more laid back. I think.

But I prefer my life this way, some people from the past that I took a little peek at and went on my way.

I was tempted to look up people I dislike and hoped they were bald and/or fat but decided that was too much cheesecake for one sitting.

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